So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
porn star boner night. come get it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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