I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
