THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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