I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
