I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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