dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
ttyl tear gas
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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