New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
