told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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