..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
did i just pee glitter
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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