So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
there is glitter all over my balls
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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