wrigley field is MILF paradise
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
