Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
