i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
