But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
