Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My ATM looks so different sober.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
