She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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