Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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