I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
