He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
