A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
