Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
