Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
