White coat. Heels.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
