i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
