What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Your penis caused this!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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