do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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