if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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