before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
