Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Even my vagina gasped.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
