You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
