dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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