lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
