Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
