Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
