hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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