I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
