If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
