I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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