I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
