Ambien. No doubt about it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
