so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
