I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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