i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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