i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
