Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
