thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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