so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
