Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
