I want to walk on stilts...naked
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
