your room smells of hookers.
And success
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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