do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
