I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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