id be glad to
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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