so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
